This is an actual letter sent to a man
named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of
Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read
the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File
No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the
attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as
the legal landowner
and/or contractor who did
the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream
of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued
prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the
Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity
is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act
451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to
324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been
informed that one or both of the dams partially failed
during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are
inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department
therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at
this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow
condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams
from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be
completed no later than January 31, 2003.
Please notify this office
when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up
site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with
this request or any further unauthorized
activity on the site may result in this case being
referred for elevated
enforcement action.
We anticipate and would
appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel
free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price, District
Representative
Land and Water Management
Division
****************************************
-Here is the actual
response sent back by Mr. DeVries---
Re: DEQ File No.
97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter
dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner
but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan.
A couple of beavers are in
the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream
of my Spring Pond.
While I did not pay for,
authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they
would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
natures building materials "debris."
I would like to challenge
your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any
time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely
state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills,
their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work
ethic.
As to your request, I do
not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill
out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
activity.
My first dam question to
you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring
Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout
this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not
discriminating against these particular beavers, through the
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of
all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been
issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam
violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451
of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to
324.30113 of
the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns.
My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal
representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially
destitute and are unable to pay for said representation so
the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams
failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is
proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the
Department is required to protect. In
other words, we should
leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing
them and calling their dam names.
If you want the stream
"restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the
beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they
obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they
being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the
Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized
dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do
to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural
Resources and
Environmental Protection
lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers
and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more
elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice
then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would
like to bring to your attention to a real environmental
quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!
Bears are actually
defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be
persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers
alone.
If you are going to
investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The
bears are not careful where they dump!)
Being unable to comply
with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on
your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM
BEAVERS
